Bully Prevention Model

Bullying is a deliberate act.
There is an intent to harm.
It is persistent over time.
There is an imbalance of power.

Bullying is typically a form of repeated, persistent and aggressive behaviour directed at an individual or individuals that is intended to cause (or ought reasonably to be known to cause) fear and distress and/or harm to another person’s body, feelings, self-esteem, or reputation. Bullying occurs in a context where there is a real or perceived power imbalance.

Report bullying to school personnel immediately if it happens at school or involves a student from the school. Report it to coaches or group leaders if it is happening in a sports or social grouping. They need facts – the dates, times, places, students involved, students who may have seen or heard it, specifics about the incident, and the impact on your child. Stay on course. If meeting with the school has not made the bullying stop go back and talk to the principal. Persist with trying to solve the problem.

Myths about Bullying

The following statements are not true:
• You will know if a child is being bullied.
• Bullying always includes physical aggression.
• Fighting back will solve the problem.
• Bullies come from the top of the pecking order.
• Parental attitudes have no effect on bullying.
• If a child is being bullied, their parents should call the bullies’ parents.
• Boys are more likely to experience bullying.
• Cyber bullying is the gateway to other bullying.
• Parents are always the kids best defender.
• Schools bear no clear responsibility for bullying.

How can parents tell if a child is being bullied?

• If your child tells you about the same individual “bothering” him frequently, try to find out more about the circumstances.
• Changes in your child’s habits, such as suddenly being unwilling to go places or to do things she usually does, can be your child’s way of trying to avoid a bully.
• Increased irritability, lack of sleep and nightmares are signs something is just not right with your child.
• Lost or damaged clothing or possessions, although part of life at times, can be a signal of bullying if the explanation doesn’t match the degree of loss or damage, or if it becomes a frequent event.
• Falling grades, depression and stomach aches may be linked to distress. Talk to the school where marks are affected, and to your child’s doctor in the case of depression or stomach
problems.

What can parents do if their child is being bullied?

A child who is being bullied needs to hear the following messages:
• I hear you and believe you.
• We will work together to solve this problem.
• This is not your fault.
• Discuss the difference between “ratting” and “bullying.”

What if your child is engaging in bullying behaviour?

• Explain to your child that this behaviour is unacceptable. It is not a joke. It is not funny.
• Provide effective, non-violent consequences for your child’s actions.
• Help and expect your child to understand how the other person may feel, decide how to fix the damage, and change the behaviour and underlying beliefs.
• Increase supervision, establish reasonable rules and curfews, and decrease your child’s exposure to violent television, video games and music.
• Increase your child’s awareness of social justice issues and principles by discussing global examples of misuse of power and control and identifying bullying in the world.
• Teach your child to value diversity.
• Tell your child to remember that everyone is different. Different doesn’t mean better or worse than you.
• Ask your child to think about what it feels like to be bullied… would you want to be treated that way?
• Encourage your child to remember that they don’t have to like everyone around them, but they do have to treat them with respect.
• Tell your child to think before they speak… are their words going to help or hurt another student?

5 Step Bullying Response Strategy

STEP ONE

Parents and Guardians will be called and/or contacted by mail when:
a) There has been a complaint against your child for bullying behaviours
b) Investigation has confirmed that there is substance to this complaint

• Please talk to your child regarding this behaviour
• We are willing to assist in this communication with your child should you wish to come in
• If there is another complaint against your child, or an associate of your child, we will move to Step Two.

There may be opportunity at this stage to engage in restorative practices.

STEP TWO

If there is another confirmed complaint, then the consequences may escalate for the student(s) participating in the bullying behaviour.
Typical consequences at this level include:

• Contact with the home again as per step 1
• Loss of recess or similar privilege for a period of time
• Notice to student and parent that the next confirmed complaint may lead to suspension out of school
• Request to meet with the student and the parent
• There may be opportunity at this stage to engage in restorative practices.

STEP THREE

Out of school suspension may be applied (generally duration of less than 5 days), also:

• Meeting with parent and student
• Involvement in a supportive program to assist the student in dealing with these behaviours
• Notice to student and parent that the next confirmed complaint may lead to lengthier out of school suspension and possible police involvement
• There may be opportunity at this stage to engage in restorative practices.

STEP FOUR

Depending upon the severity of the behaviours, the next step may be out of school suspension; generally a duration of 6 – 15 days and possible police involvement. There may be an opportunity at this state to engage in restorative practices.

STEP FIVE

Depending upon the severity of the behaviours, the next step may be suspension/pending expulsion and possible police involvement. Restorative practices also possible at this stage.